how things are with me

Firstly an apology to those of you who follow me, my lovely readers, in my efforts to post something each day I have hit publish on unfinished words with not quite the right photos to match. I often go back a few days later and improve things. Not that you see that! So sorry to you for getting my first draft sometimes! Of course getting home from hospital and then Cam going back to work leaves me busier and therefore more tired and less inclined to blog about being busy and tired. That sounds a bit dull!

It has been a big week. I'm just processing it now and deciding what to post here. Blogging about struggles is tricky, I'm quite private in one sense (she says to the internet) and even more so when things are tough. On the other hand I want to tell my story, I am sometimes too shy to offer it in person and so can reflect on what I want to say before writing a blog post. I enjoy that process and someone else might benefit from my experience. 

Firstly, Ada is going great guns. She is loving all the visitors and play dates. I'm trying to put together a video of her chatting away so I have a record of what she says and how she says it. Current faves are 'my turn' and '_____ time', she actually says 'puzzle time' or "horsie time'. I'll post that soonish. She is pretty delightful, lucky us!

Olive has been a hard baby over the last week. Olive who was windy became Olive who was generally unhappy when not feeding, jumping off and on and screaming in between the whole time while awake. We were winding her and tying so many different methods and she would seem to be crying in pain, then in frustration and then crying due to wanting to feed again. It was heartbreaking to try to feed her again to have her pull away crying and repeat the cycle a few minutes later when she wants more. We are trying wind drops but without amazing success.

After a few days of this our midwife viewed a feed and saw how Olive seemed to not feed for very long and get increasingly frustrated. She said babies that don't feed for long and pull off a lot can be remedied by removing a tongue tie. Olive had a major tongue tie at birth but a great amount of suction, combined with lots of milk in me, she fed well when first home, a full feed may have only taken 8 minutes. Progressively each feed cycle seemed to get harder and harder, the midwife wonders if as she got hungrier she was getting more frustrated. In any case we opted to get her tongue tie cut in the hopes this would be a solution for our unhappy Olive. That was Wednesday afternoon. Wednesday night she successfully fed without getting upset at both her middle of the night feeds, it seems like the mini surgery has improved things. Thursday we had space to put Olive down awake to observe life in her bouncer, something we hadn't really done, she had been too intense when awake previously. She is still demonstrating signs of wind troubling her on some but not all feeds. I am keen to have a happy settled Olive so my next effort will be trying eliminate gassiness and increase probiotics in me. 

But now I have a bit of space to breathe and to imagine things becoming a bit easier with my two beautiful girls. It is wonderful.

kiss