Last week I visited a Plunket Family Centre, I think I have been embarrassed to post about it here because then I am admitting that I don't feed Olive on demand any more, that I want Olive to have a routine and to learn to sleep in her bed. I assume rightly or wrongly that I may be judged for this? This is rather silly for me to be embarrassed about! Firstly, people don't need to spend much time with me to know I like to have a plan. I love to have a plan! I am typically OK if the plan gets changed, but I really love having a plan A and a plan B for that matter. Secondly, I feed Olive when she is hungry, I mean of course I do, a routine would never change that. Plus, I'm the Mama! My call right?
The advice from Patsy at Plunket was so simple and I had heard it before. All of Olive's early tears and wind and unsettledness had made me feel a tad unconfident, could you tell? People had said time and time again the second baby is easier, well, um no, not if the first was the easier one. Here was the revelation, for a baby Olives age, feed when she wakes, give her all of her feed and don't take more than half an hour with it. Then she can play for half an hour, after which, remove any distractions and place baby on the floor and look for her to show some tired signs, then put baby to bed. That is simple genius right there and I hadn't seen it, I needed Patsy to walk me through some basic baby steps. I had been feeding Olive then taking time over her nappy, having a few cuddles, then she would look hungry again after being awake for about 50 minutes so I would feed her more. When she had finished she would be tired plus have wind and then all of a sudden she would be overtired and frustrated and very hard to settle.
Patsy advised feeding more often than most set routines, every 2 - 3 hours, hopefully enabling babies to get their calorie intake during the day and not need to feed all through the night. She rightly points out how often we eat and babies are smaller than us and so need to eat more frequently. Simple, yes? So a baby Olives age may be awake an hour and then in their beds an hour if feeding every two hours. The thought of feeding every two hours all day does my head in but knowing that just an hour in their bed is enough has been rather freeing for me. Trying to resettle a tiny baby after they have woken is hard work, basically you are convinced they must be hungry and go about the resettling halfheartedly anyhow. Olive often wakes naturally after 3 hours since the last feed but less sleep is not as big a deal to me now. Also now that teo hourly feeds is an option when a growth spurt hits all that extra feeding isn't such a shock.
Lastly Patsy from Plunket encouraged me to teach Olive to like her bed. This involves some rocking, patting and shushing to calm baby but leaving baby in bed, for an hour at least. Many babies protest strongly at first and then learn to self settle in a few days. We have not had the miracle of a self settling baby after a few days but this is SO much easier than rocking her to sleep in our arms and then trying to put her in bed without waking. Stress city. Currently Olive takes anywhere from 5-10 minutes to settle to sleep with very little protesting and loud crying almost certainly is wind. We still rock and shush but it is slowly becoming less. Phoowee, having the guesswork removed even a little at bedtime is sooooo good. Her better day sleeps have not revolutionised her night sleeps, yet, but that is the hope! Good sleep in the day leads to good sleep at night so they say.
So with all this time taken back from feeding and burping and crying we have a lovely chunk of time to play with Olive before she goes to bed. Please don't mistake me and think I am preaching this method for you, at our house we just needed to do things differently, I was going a bit crazy. Olive is so much happier. I am so much happier. Phewf, that is a relief. Thanks Patsy!
Hi! I have pandas and a smile on!
Sounds like good advice. I was a mix of feeding on demand and scheduled feeding if there is such a thing. The feed, play/awake, sleep cycle is great to base a routine on. I also would wake my babies after 3 hours (from start of last feed) if they didn't wake on their own. I did find they all naturally liked to have a longer sleep in the afternoon (sometimes it was hard to wake them and I would leave them 4 hours while having their big afternoon sleep), they also fed 2 hourly after that big sleep/in the evening. I would dreamfeed too - I always tried to tank them up as much as possible during the day. You're doing a great job.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad - we have Shea on the same cycle, and did for Quinn too! I'm not too strict, so will feed again if needed, but it works for me to have an idea of what he should be doing. We haven't tried to "loving the bed" bit yet - might have to have a think about that!!
ReplyDeleteWhat works for you is what is best for sure! Olive is definitely loving her bed more and more to my great relief :)
DeleteLoren that sounds about exactly what I did with Enid (i only demand fed for 2 or 3 days till my milk came in). It worked super well for us! I would feed every 3 hours and would wake Enid during daylight hours to feed. And she would always "talk" (cry) before falling asleep. But she soon settled and even now goes down to bed awake and self settles. Sounds like little Olive might be like her Mummy and love a routine/plan :)
ReplyDeleteYes, she is much happier now! Happy Birthday too Enid too :)
DeleteGood work Loren! stoked you are feeling better about the whole situation too! Honor has been a routine baby since week 2 and its been amazing for all of us. Everyone knows what happens next!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad at all, you gotta do what works for you.
Good work Honor and her Mum and Dad too! Yes, Ada was the same. Olive is so much more predictable now though, it is lovely.
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